You Know What They Say
by XxTwistedThornxX
Summary: "Wow-ee! I knew there was a reason I called you 'big guy'" Vizyn's lack of speech skill makes for a very awkward bath-time conversation. Takes place before the events of "Sunshine."


** So while working on "The Ghost of You" (the direct sequel to "Sunshine") I was enjoying a lovely bottle of Dr. Pepper and a king sized Reese's and this random little idea popped into my head.**

One week. One week since that chipper little blonde held his contract in front of his face. One week since he left the darkness of Underworld to travel the great wide wastes. One week longer than he thought this employer was going to last.

Granted he was good at what he did, one might even say the best. His loyalty to his contract outweighed any sense of self-preservation and only had him focused on protecting the bubbly vault girl who possessed it (which proved to be quite difficult due to her lack of skill with a firearm.)

It was because of that undying loyalty that Charon found himself at the bank of the Potomac with Vizyn's grey knit hat clenched in his ruined fingers.

He had awoken violently, snarling with his gun cocked, to a shrill scream. His milky blue eyes scanned the campsite swiftly, noticing that only one thing was missing: His employer.

Rage pounded in his eardrums as he leaped off the hard ground and sprinted toward the origin of the scream. As he reached the Potomac river, he felt dread well up inside him. His employer was nowhere to be seen, the only trace of her were her clothes scattered along the riverbank. He kneeled down and picked up her favorite hat, clenching his fist tight around it as horrifying thoughts of raiders with sadistic grins plagued his mind.

_They couldn't have gotten far, _he thought, searching for any movement.

"Oh _God_, this feels so _good_!"  
>Charon jerked his head towards the moan and froze.<p>

Vizyn stood chest deep in the irradiated water, her champagne hair was soaked and droplets of water trailed down her shoulders into the river. Charon couldn't remember the last time he felt so relieved…and furious.

Vizyn's deep blue eyes opened and spotted him immediately. She grinned and wrung some water from her hair.

"Good morning, big guy! Come on in!" She called. Charon scowled and dropped her hat onto the ground, turning to avert his eyes from her prone form.

"What do you think you're doing, smoothskin?" He growled.

"Uh, taking a bath, duh!"

"Get out of there and get dressed before you get sick!" He clenched his teeth as Vizyn laughed.

"Oooh," she snorted. "Who's giving who orders now?"

The ghoul remained silent as ever as he heard her paddle over.

"I won't get sick, either. I took some Rad-X before I jumped in. Come on, it's been a week since we left Underworld and I haven't had a bath since! Don't tell me you haven't noticed the stink! Oh…or maybe you can't smell?"

Charon normally would have been insulted by such a comment, but her tone of voice proved she hadn't intended any malice in her words.

"I can smell just as well as you can, smoothskin." He assured her.

"Then you know what I'm talking about! And if I might say so, you don't smell like a fresh rose either, big guy."

Charon said nothing.

"Come take a bath too, you'll feel much better afterwards!"

"No."

"Please?"

"Are you ordering me to do it?"

He could almost hear her pout.

"Well, no."

"Then I decline."

Vizyn groaned loudly and splashed at him.

"I'm not going to force you, but you'd be much more pleasant to travel with if you didn't smell like a rotting carcass!"

Charon twitched and Vizyn seemed to catch her slip up. She gasped and began sputtering.

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant! I didn't…I don't mean…you're not…"

"Calm down, smoothskin." Charon sighed. "I know what you meant." He felt his temper still flaring, but lack of eloquence was not something he could be angry at her for. "If it will please you, I will bathe once you've finished."

"But that will take too much time!" she complained. "I was hoping to get back on the road as soon as possible!"

Charon grit his teeth. He could decline once more, but he'd never hear the end of her complaining if he did.

"Turn around and close your eyes, then." He barked. Vizyn giggled and covered her eyes, spinning around in the water, splashing it about.

The ghoul growled and began unbuckling his armor, shaking his head as he thought how ridiculous the situation was. He laid the leather neatly on the riverbank and rested his shotgun on top of it for easy access should the bath be rudely interrupted.

The sun warmed his burned flesh as he waded into the Potomac. The water wasn't warm, but it wasn't cold either, coming up to just underneath his pectorals.

"Can I turn around now?" Vizyn asked. Charon grimaced.

"If you wish." _Though I doubt it's a sight you'd want to see._

Vizyn uncovered her eyes and smiled at him, she didn't stare disgustedly at his mottled chest or order him to dress himself. Instead, she swam over to a large rock jutting out of the surface of the water and pulled some bottles out of her pack.

"Tulip had these on her shelf," She explained. "I was worried soap was something I'd have to live without out here!" She looked at the bottles in her hands and handed him one. "This one is less girly, so I think you'll like this one better."

She was grinning at him, holding the bottle of body wash out to him as though this were something they did everyday. He took it with a slight murmur of thanks.

Vizyn began to lather herself in her own, it smelled fruity but he couldn't quite put a name to the scent.

"_You are my sunshine,_

_ My only sunshine,_

_ You make me happy,_

_ When skies are grey," _She sang cheerfully, washing the suds off her skin. Charon tore his eyes away and began to rub the soap into his flesh, thankfully it was not as strong scented as Vizyn's. He frowned at the thought of a fruity-scented ghoul shooting down raiders with a shotgun.

"Wow-ee!" Vizyn exclaimed. Charon glanced over at her, she was turned towards him, mouth agape and her eyes were wide and focused underneath the surface of the water. "I knew there was a reason I called you 'big guy!'"

Charon was taken aback. He knew the vault girl could be inappropriate without meaning to but, had she really just…? The ghoul was at a loss for words, but Vizyn kept going.

"I've never seen any as big as your's before! Well, maybe my dad's but it's not like I was staring or anything."

"You've…seen many before now?" He was stunned. Maybe this girl wasn't as innocent as he had thought.

"Well, yeah!" Vizyn exclaimed. "Butch comes as a close third, I guess. But, I think one was slightly bigger than the other."

"He had…two?"

Vizyn arched an eyebrow at him.

"Well, duh." Her nose wrinkled, she didn't seem to notice the ghoul's mortified expression. "When I was his girlfriend, he'd always make me rub them after he got back from his job."

Charon was sure if he had enough skin left, he'd be blushing.

"I really don't need to hear more about this, smoothskin."

Vizyn shrugged.

"I'm just saying, you have some _huge_ feet!"

Charon stared at her.

"You were talking about…my feet?"

Vizyn blinked and laughed.

"Well, yeah! Why? What did you think I was talking about?"

Charon clenched his eyes shut and let himself sink under the water.

"Charon?"

One week had passed since he began traveling with Vizyn Nielson. And God help him in the weeks to come.

**Immature? Maybe. But I hope at least SOME of you laughed. Leave your reviews please!**


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